The Retro
by 11 Points
Modern perspectives on ‘80s and ‘90s nostalgia
December 25, 2020 • Issue 27
This week in nostalgic history
December 25th
22 years ago, on December 25th, 1998 - The Faculty hit theaters.
I had a ton of movies to choose from, as Christmas is historically a major release date. So why did I go with a somewhat obscure teen horror movie that you haven’t thought about in at least a decade?
The Faculty is a highly underrated movie, even if it did just take the oldest body snatchers trope in the book and transplant it into the late ‘90s teen movie boom. The result is like Angst-vasion of the Body Snatchers. Ahem.
Anyway, the movie was super random counterprogramming to the other big release that Christmas, Patch Adams, and did not have a particularly successful box office run. Still, it’s earned its cult movie status over the years, a very fun and underrated gem of both the aforementioned ‘90s teen movie boom — and, at the very least, is a good chance to see an on-the-verge-of-blowing-up Jon Stewart playing a body snatched science teacher.
Also on December 25th: Good Morning, Vietnam hit theaters (1987)… The Godfather Part III hit theaters (1990)… Mariah Carey’s song Hero hit number one (1993)… The Jungle Book, IQ, and Ready to Wear hit theaters (1994)… Jackie Brown and Wag the Dog hit theaters (1997)… Patch Adams hit theaters (1998)… Richard Branson bailed on his attempt to sail a hot-air balloon around the world after seven days (1998)… Galaxy Quest and The Talented Mr. Ripley hit theaters (1999)
December 26th
38 years ago, on December 26th, 1982 - Time magazine named the personal computer its Man of the Year.
The Time magazine Man of the Year (since 1999, Person of the Year) carries, perhaps, an outsized amount of gravitas. It was, as a result, a surprise when the magazine selected an inanimate object in 1982. (And they didn’t even go with the true hero, the Inanimate Carbon Rod.)
While the pick was surprising, that doesn’t necessarily mean it was bad; the personal computer was a pretty savvy pick and demonstrated quite a bit of foresight, even if it seemed far afield from the spirit of the list. The Time crew has only picked one inanimate object since, the Endangered Earth in 1988. (Well, two inanimate objects, if you could Bono in 2005.)
While they’ve limited their number of inanimate objects, the 1982 selection did open a Pandora’s box of sorts for Time. In the decades since, they’ve found other ways to get more abstract with their pick and get away from picking one single individual; in the 2010s alone they went with four sometimes nebulous groups (The Protester in 2011, Ebola fighters in 2014, Silence Breakers in 2017, and Guardians in 2018).
Also on December 26th: The series finale of Cop Rock aired (1990)… Wreckx-n-Effect’s one hit Rump Shaker peaked at number two (1992)… Spice World premiered in the U.K. (1997)
December 27th
21 years ago, on December 27th, 1999 - Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker gave an interview to Sports Illustrated filled with racist and homophobic statements.
I hadn’t thought about John Rocker in quite some time, and I didn’t remember the specifics of what he said in this infamous interview — but it’s fascinating to read his words now in the modern social and political climate.
Rocker’s comments were wrong in any era, whether the “early P.C.” times of the late ‘90s or the woker days of 2020. However, on the flip side, today you can quite literally read millions of people making comments just like Rocker’s on social media — including, of course, more than one prominent politician. Not only that, but Rocker’s comments would now be considered (and have been) an asset for many of those politicians in this climate. Today, after an interview like this, he’d be deified by the Fox Newses, Wall Street Journals, and Brietbarts of the the world. Back then, when open racism wasn’t a strategic career choice, it didn’t go so well.
That being said — perhaps the fact that it didn’t go all out terrible sent a message that today’s proto-fascists internalized. Rocker suffered outrage from his comments in the moment but, perhaps portending the future, they were not a career killer. He would continue to make millions of dolalrs pitching on a variety of MLB teams until 2003, when his career ended over diminished performance, not his personal toxicity. Had he come around a decade or two later, he’d certainly have a cable news job right now.
Also on December 27th: Timbuk3’s one hit, The Future’s So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades, peaked at number 19 (1986)… Fried Green Tomatoes and The Prince of Tides hit theaters (1991)
December 28th
23 years ago, on December 28th, 1997 - World Championship Wrestling botched the ending of the biggest match in their history, the showdown between “Hollywood” Hulk Hogan and Sting.
Since Vince McMahon took his wrestling promotion (WWWF, then WWF, now WWE) nationwide in the early ‘80s, there have been very few moments when it wasn’t the top-rated wrestling TV program in the country. Those moments all came in the mid ‘90s, when World Championship Wrestling on TNT beat WWF on USA Network for 83 weeks in a row.
The climax of that battle came on this day in 1997, when WCW finally paid off a storyline they’d patiently, meticulously built for more than a year; the storyline that propelled them ahead of the WWF. Sting, the ultimate good guy, here playing a vengeful Crow-esque character, finally got his one-on-one showdown with Hulk Hogan, who, at the time, was the ultimate bad guy. After more than a year of a slow, tantalizing build, the two squared off at WCW’s biggest pay-per-view event of the year, Starrcade.
And then… they blew it. Sting looked slow (after all, he hadn’t had a match in more than a year), Hogan was permanently slow, and the entire affair was completely uninspired. That might’ve been forgivable — but then came the ending. Hogan was supposed to pin Sting thanks to a fast count from an evil referee, but then Bret “Hitman” Hart, a new arrival to WCW after years with the WWF, would come out and demand a restart where Sting would win.
That script only sort of played out because of one major problem: The evil referee counted 1-2-3 at a normal pace. Longtime rumors say Hogan got in his ear (and the ear of the head of WCW, Eric Bischoff) and convinced the referee to do that. Maybe that was the case, maybe not. But either way, it made Bret Hart’s protest, the match restarting, and Sting’s win and championship reign dead-on-arrival… and kicked off WCW’s decline back to number two.
WWF would reclaim the ratings lead from WCW four months later. WCW continued to crumble, and just over three years later, WWF would buy WCW for pennies on the dollar.
WWE has never relinquished its market dominance to a competitor since then, although a one-year-old, up-and-coming promotion called All Elite Wrestling is currently nipping at their heels and getting very close in the ratings. Who made a surprise appearance for AEW on their weekly show on TNT earlier this month?
Sting.
Also on December 28th: Nine people were killed during a riot at a Puff Daddy-promoted hip-hop event (1991)… E! True Hollywood Story debuted (1996)
December 29th
26 years ago, on December 29th, 1994 - Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes pleaded guilty to arson.
I don’t think I realized back when I was a kid and heard “Left Eye burned down Andre Rison’s house” just how extreme arson really was — but in retrospect, that’s really hardcore. Andre Rison was known for being combustible (not literally, which needs to be said in an arson story), and Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes testified that he was abusive, which led to her setting the fire.
On December 29th, the day she pleaded guilty, she showed up to court with Rison. He even spoke in her defense and said it would never happen again, so Lopes received five years probation, counseling, and a $10,000 fine—all things considered, a light punishment for a felony arson charge.
In the process of all this, however, Lopes developed (however deserved or undeserved) a reputation for being the “crazy” one of TLC’s CrazySexyCool. Her general DGAF demeanor and other incidents (like a time she was reported missing after skipping a family event and vanishing for a few days) reinforced the reputation. So when she died very young, at only age 30, and even though she died in a car accident, her death wasn’t treated as a shock; a sad dehumanization that often accompanied rabid tabloid culture, both back then and still today.
Also on December 29th: Dolby released the first home surround sound system (1982)… Jamaica issued a Bob Marley postage stamp (1982)… Mr. Holland’s Opus, Dead Man Walking, and 12 Monkeys all hit theaters (1995)… The Hurricane hit theaters (1999)
December 30th
30 years ago, on December 30th, 1990 - Scott Skiles set the NBA single-game assist record with 30.
Random other Scott Skiles fact: That guy (yes, the guy pictured above) has six children with four different women.
Also on December 30th: NBC canceled The Wonderful World of Disney after 25 years (1980)… George Harrison and his wife were attacked during a robbery (1990)
December 31st
21 years ago, on December 31st, 1999 - The Y2K panic loomed large as the turn of the century approached.
Y2K is largely regarded as a flop — an overhyped calamity that fizzled out with few to no fireworks. No planes fell out of the sky. No currencies collapsed. No America Online accounts locked people out of their games of Slingo.
But in reality, that’s not an accurate depiction. The Y2K bug really could’ve tanked the damn world if unremidied. Instead, countries (including the U.S.) took significant pre-emptive measures to make sure Y2K didn’t take down computer systems (and everything related to them). Governments worldwide spent more than $300 billion (not adjusted for inflation) on fixing the Y2K bug before the turn of the century, with the U.S. kicking in nearly half of that. And thanks to (1) the government listening to experts to understand the impending severity of the potential crisis (2) acting swiftly and decisively to prevent Y2K from becoming a full-blown crisis and (3) the various crazies who tried to tie Y2K to the coming of the four horsemen or whatever not having a megaphone to broadcast their deleterious views to the susceptible types, we beat Y2K. And it became a punchline, rather than a disaster.
Now contrast that to literally everything that’s happened this year.
Also on December 31st: MTV held its first New Year’s Eve special (1981)… CNN Headline News debuted (1981)… Def Leppard drummer Rick Allen lost his left arm in an accident (1984)… The Sci-Fi Channel debuted (1990)… Mega Man 5 was released (1992)… Boyz II Men’s single On Bended Knee hit number one (1994)… Calvin & Hobbes ended after a 10-year run (1995)… Microsoft purchased Hotmail email service (1997)… the U.S. officially gave control of the Panama Canal to Panama (1999)… Prince’s Rave Un2 The Joy 2000 concert aired (1999)
Everything old is new again
A look at the reboots, revivals, throwbacks, retro insights, and nostalgia in the news.
Far less news than usual on this holiday week…
The stars from The Karate Kid franchise came together on Josh Gad’s web series Reunited Apart.
A Sex and the City reboot is in the works at HBO Max, featuring most of the crew but not Kim Cattrall. Will Carrie still be a multimillionaire freelance magazine writer? TBD.
This isn’t shocking per se, but the Saved by the Bell reboot was the most-watched original show in Peacock’s first year.
A Night Court reboot is in the works at NBC.
Throwbacks and recommendations
“Weird Al” Yankovic posted one hell of a story about finally reconnecting with his ninth-grade crush on social media.
Mental Floss put together a list of the 10 best holiday-themed Seinfeld episodes.
The story of how red M&M’s disappeared for more than a decade.
Thanks for reading!
-Sam