Dec 4: TMNT, Simpsons Sing the Blues, Napster
Plus Scarface, Beverly Hills Cop, He-Man, The WB, and more
The Retro
by 11 Points
Modern perspectives on ‘80s and ‘90s nostalgia
December 4th, 2020 • Issue 24
This week in nostalgic history
December 4th
30 years ago, on December 4th, 1990 - The Simpsons Sing the Blues was released.
Shortly after The Simpsons premiered with its Christmas special in 1989 (and then “re-premiered” with regular episodes in January of 1990), the studio realized Americans had a voracious appetite for Simpsons stuff — and they began churning it out as fast as possible. The merchandising was so massive, and arguably shameless, that The Simpsons would frequently mock it in-show through the totem of Krusty the Clown and his even more shameless merchandising.
The product spin-offs hit an early crescendo in December of 1990, when The Simpsons released an album. Unfortunately, the album was conceived and recorded during the brief early window of the show where the Simpsons team thought people would really connect with Lisa and her love of the blues. (People did not.) Fortunately, the album veered away quite a bit from Lisa-ized blues music, with both of the Billboard-charting hits instead coming from Bart songs (Do the Bartman and, to a lesser extent, Deep, Deep Trouble).
Unfortunately part two: The end result wasn’t amazing. The album sold more than one million copies in its first week of release and more than two million overall; that was the inevitability of Simpsons merchandise. However, the album was a critical bomb, deemed an uninspired, un-subversive, unfunny, and, therefore, unworthy media spin-off of the show.
Personal note: I didn’t care about any of that, I owned the album, and wore the thing out listening to it so many times.
Also on December 4th: You Can’t Do That on Television premiered on Nickelodeon… Pan Am ceased operations (1991)… The Distinguished Gentleman hit theaters (1992)
December 5th
36 years ago, on December 5th, 1984 - Beverly Hills Cop hit theaters.
Eddie Murphy was identified as a future superstar from the moment he appeared on Saturday Night Live — and, by some accounts, singlehandedly saved the show as it struggled during Lorne Michaels’ several year hiatus. Beverly Hills Cop was Murphy’s first true film vehicle (he’d been in 48 Hours, Trading Places, and a few others before, but Beverly Hills Cop was his first solo leading role, his first chance to sink or swim a movie).
The movie was a gargantuan success: the highest-grossing movie of 1984, also the highest-grossing comedy and highest-grossing R-rated movie of all time (at that moment). That was sufficient, more or less, to permanently launch Eddie Murphy’s solo movie career, which would have up and down degrees of success for the next two decades until there were finally too many “downs” and not enough “ups.” Murphy’s volume of starring roles came to a halt for a while after assorted Pluto Nash and Norbit misfires (let me rephrase: after enough Pluto Nash and Academy Award-nominated Norbit misfires), although things seem to be recharging again after some strong recent performances.
Also on December 5th: Alabama beat Florida in the first SEC championship game (1992)… Good Will Hunting hit theaters (1997)… a collaboration I have no memory of and can’t believe existed, a duet between Celine Dion and R. Kelly called I’m Your Angel, hit number one (1998)
December 6th
26 years ago, on December 6th, 1994 - Warner Brothers announced The WB, the first new U.S. broadcast network in nearly a decade.
Network television has always been one of the more gatekept areas of entertainment. When I was born, there were really just three major networks. FOX showed up and became the fourth, although it took a very long time for it to become recognized on the same plane as the other three; only buying the NFL rights finally seemed to get it there. Then, in the mid ‘90s, two new players joined the mix: The WB and UPN.
It’s not easy to launch a TV network, so the WB started slow, debuting with just one night of programming and then gradually expanding. The network struggled mightily to gain real footing, only starting to get it when it shifted frommostly sitcoms to teen dramas with Buffy the Vampire Slayer, then Dawson’s Creek, Felicity, Charmed, and more.
However, it could never crack its fifth- or sixth-place slot, and just over a decade after it launched, it merged with UPN to form The CW. The CW is still going today, still entrenched in that number five slot behind the same four networks it has always trailed.
Also on December 6th: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer debuted on NBC (1964)… Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country hit theaters (1991)… Aaliyah’s single Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number was released (1994)… As Good As It Gets hit theaters (1997)
December 7th
21 years ago, on December 7th, 1999 - The RIAA filed a lawsuit against Napster.
Napster wasn’t the first place to download mp3s on the internet. There were plenty of other places in the years before it, from pump and dump Angelfire homepages to ratioed FTP sites to Scour network sharing and beyond. But the differentiator that put Napster on the map — and put it too far on the map — was that it made it too easy for anyone to illegally download music. All of the methods I mentioned before it took some degree of tech savvy (especially the FTP thing). Not Napster. Anyone, and I mean anyone, could download Napster, type in any song they could think of, and download it in a matter of minutes. There’s no art or science in that. And therein lied the problem — and Napster finding itself sued into oblivion.
It’s fascinating to look back now on where Napster (and co.) were taking music in the late ‘90s. They made it clear the $18 CD/$4 single system was untenable; the market simply wouldn’t have it. It took the record labels nearly another decade to adjust, when iTunes finally made it cheap enough to buy music legally that a large number of people stopped bothering with illegal downloading. And from there, the streaming services came along and are now the primary means of music distribution worldwide.
It’s not that people weren’t willing to pay for music; they just weren’t willing to pay crazy prices anymore. After Napster took the price to zero (illegally, of course), and after a long, tenuous decade-plus of the music industry trying to dig its heels into quicksand, labels and customers have now seemed to reach a music pricing detente. At least until they screw it up again.
Also on December 7th: Bo Jackson won the Heisman Trophy (1985)… Remote Control premiered on MTV (1987)… Edward Scissorhands hit theaters (1990)… Celebrity Jeopardy debuted on Saturday Night Live (1996)… Toni Braxton’s Un-break My Heart hit number one (1996)
December 8th
36 years ago, on December 8th, 1984 - The series finale of He-Man aired.
For the cultural impact of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, it didn’t have a particularly long run: Just two seasons and 130 episodes. (Syndicated seasons are long, man.) Of course, because it was a TV show created by a toy company with the sole purpose of selling toys, it was never meant to have a long shelf life; just a few years to maximize sales, then pivot the fickle child audience to the next hot thing.
So there was no grandiose finale to He-Man, no sendoff for the characters or the show, no look into the far future like Six Feet Under where we see how all the characters eventually die in a Sia-scored montage.
The description of the He-Man finale is: “Kobra Khan asks He-Man for help in restoring the Eternal Flame of his people, the Reptons. The heroic warriors agree to a truce, but find themselves betrayed as soon as they enter the cold zone.” Yeah, we didn’t even get a final showdown between He-Man and Skeletor. Instead, we got He-Man versus Kobra Khan, which has a very “Hogan vs. Sid instead of Hogan vs. Flair at WrestleMania VIII” feeling to it.
Also on December 8th: The Deer Hunter hit theaters (1978)… John Lennon was shot and killed (1980)… Sophie’s Choice hit theaters (1982)… the series finale aired of Captain Kangaroo (1984)… the 111th element on the Periodic Table was given the fantastic name Unununium with the symbol Uuu… the Grateful Dead announced they were breaking up (1995)… Celine Dion’s single My Heart Will Go On was released (1997)
December 9th
37 years ago, on December 9th, 1983 - Scarface hit theaters.
I was too young for Scarface when it came out by, oh, minimum 16 years. I think I knew about it in passing, but that was it. So like (I assume) many people reading this newsletter, I only came to learn of its massive popularity through MTV Cribs, when literally every single rapper had a shrine to the movie in their home. There’s only so many times you can hear Xzibit and Chingy extol the virtues of a movie before you’ve got to learn more about it, right?
Scarface is a borderline cult classic case; it was popular but not monumentally so in its time, definitely less so than today. Many of its iconic scenes and quotes are part of the broader zeitgeist now and its middling reviews upon release have evolved into recognition of it as a classic.
Also on December 9th: Windows 2.0 was released (1987)… Ninja Gaiden was released (1988)… Twins hit theaters (1988)… Prince Charles and Princess Diana announced their separation (1992)… Disclosure hit theaters (1994)… Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz’s single Deja Vu (Uptown Baby) was released (1997)
December 10th
33 years ago, on December 10th, 1987 - Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles premiered.
Much like the discussion of He-Man above, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles really owes its life (and outsized cultural impact) to a thirsty toy company eager to push the boundaries between cartoon and 22-minute commercial. In this case, it was Playmates Toys, which acquired the toy license to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic book series but feared the characters weren’t popular enough to warrant a full action figure blitz. They worked with the comic creators to put together a short, five-episode origin story series, which aired over the course of one week in 1987 in syndication.
The results were strong enough that both a full series and a toy line were a go. The original TMNT series would return to TV in 1988 and stay on the air through 1996, for 193 total episodes. As for the gratuitous merchandising, to tie this newsletter back to where it started with The Simpsons, TMNT killed that too; anyone who ate one of their Hostess-style wrapped pies covered in green ooze bought some bill of goods somewhere along the way.
Also on December 10th: 48 Hrs. and Airplane 2 both hit theaters (1982)… Naughty by Nature’s Hip Hop Hooray was released (1992)… Doom was released (1993)… Wayne’s World 2 and Sister Act 2 hit theaters (1993)… Amistad hit theaters (1997)… The Green Mile, Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo, and The Cider House Rules all hit theaters (1999)
Everything old is new again
A look at the reboots, revivals, throwbacks, retro insights, and nostalgia in the news.
After coronavirus delays, Super Nintendo World at Universal Studios Japan is set to open in February.
Doritos 3D (b. 1998 - d. sometime in the 2000s) are coming back next month.
Production of the She’s All That reboot — called He’s All That, and starring a TikTok kid — blocked people from getting coronavirus tests at Union Station in downtown Los Angeles on Tuesday.
Sega is holding a timed, online quiz for true fans next month in honor of its 60th anniversary.
The Saved by the Bell reboot has removed its several (?) jokes about Selena Gomez’s kidney transplant and apologized after a backlash.
Now that Mike Tyson is sort of boxing again, Evander Holyfield wants a final rematch. It’s been 23 years since the whole ear thing.
The reboot of DuckTales will be wrapping up after three seasons.
Whitney Houston wanted to make a Waiting to Exhale sequel and was trying to get it together when she died.
You can buy Tonya Harding’s 1997 Dodge pickup truck for $10,000. Also, one of the original pairs of Steve Wozniak’s Apple-shaped glasses are up for auction next week.
Peter Dinklage will star in a Toxic Avenger reboot.
Throwbacks and recommendations
The cast of The Goonies is reuniting tomorrow for an online benefit.
As Buzzfeed tries to educate a younger generation about the original Saved by the Bell, they recommend watching these 15 episodes.
Here’s a Vogue feature and interview with Elizabeth Berkley Lauren, who’s one of the original SBTB cast members that’s also a series regular in the reboot.
Thanks for reading!
-Sam