Jan 22: Apple's 1984, first Slam Dunk Contest, Olestra chips
Plus The Critic, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Color Me Badd
The Retro
by 11 Points
Modern perspectives on ‘80s and ‘90s nostalgia
January 22, 2021 • Issue 31
This week in nostalgic history
January 22nd
37 years ago, on January 22nd, 1984 - Apple’s famous “1984” commercial aired during the Super Bowl.
Apple’s “1984” commercial is one of the most famous Super Bowl commercials ever, cementing not just Apple’s governing brand philosophy but also the very concept of over-the-top, cinematic Super Bowl spectacle commercials.
In the commercial, the nondescript, futuristic proletariate in drab uniforms watch a screen as a Big Brother head drones on with dystopian messages of conformity. Meanwhile, a woman in unique, colorful garb runs from a group of guards, eventually throwing a sledgehammer through the Big Brother screen and blowing the minds of all in attendance. The ad ends with words on screen and in narration: “On January 24th, Apple Computer will introduce Macintosh. And you’ll see why 1984 won’t be like 1984.”
The commercial was considered revolutionary at the time; commercials simply didn’t do any of what Apple just did. They didn’t use symbolism (however un-subtle it was). They didn’t make mini movies. They didn’t air expensive, minute-long Super Bowl commercials that never once showed their product.
The commercial led to a massive launch for the Macintosh and won all sorts of awards, both in the moment and later (in 2007, for instance, it was named the best Super Bowl ad ever, although I can’t believe it beat the Budweiser frogs). George Orwell’s estate was less jazzed about it at the time, and sued Apple for copyright infringement.
Now, nearly 40 years later, in a cynical but fitting “circle of life” way, Apple has gone from the underdog woman throwing the sledgehammer to information gatekeeping Big Brother; last year, when they banned the game Fortnite from their App Store for not giving Apple a cut of proceeds, the makers of Fortnite released their own parody of Apple’s commercial with the roles reversed.
Also on January 22nd: The L.A. Raiders defeated the Washington Redskins to win the Super Bowl (1984)… Pennsylvania politician R. Budd Dwyer committed suicide on live TV (1987)… The San Francisco 49ers defeated the Cincinnati Bengals to win the Super Bowl (1989)… Culture Beat’s one hit, Mr. Vain, peaked at number 17 (1994)… the Unabomber plead guilty (1998)
January 23rd
35 years ago, on January 23rd, 1986 - The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inducted its first members.
I have a soft spot for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame because the powers that be ignored the naysayers and built it in my hometown of Cleveland. (Although I think the hall of fame and museum leaves a lot to be desired, as I once wrote about on my website — what’s important is they built it in Cleveland, not that they nailed the content.)
The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame itself was built in the mid ‘90s, a decade after this first round of inductees were announced. The 10 names from 1986 are a veritable who’s who of music history. (Well, a veritable who’s who, plus the Everly Brothers. Zing.)
The class of performers: Chuck Berry, James Brown, Ray Charles, Sam Cooke, Fats Domino, the Everly Brothers, Buddy Holly, Jerry Lee Lewis, Little Richard, and Elvis.
Because there was no physical hall, the induction ceremony was held in New York City. The Rock Hall has continued the tradition of inducting classes ever since, although sometimes they do hold the ceremony in Cleveland, not New York.
Also on January 23rd: The A-Team premiered on NBC (1983)… Hulk Hogan defeated the Iron Sheik to win his first WWF Championship (1984)… ThunderCats premiered in syndication (1985)… Salvador Dali passed away at age 84 (1989)… the Smashing Pumpkins single 1979 was released (1996)… Moesha premiered on UPN (1996)… the first version of the Java programming language was released (1996)… Spice World hit theaters (1998)… TLC’s single No Scrubs was released (1999)… Eagle Eye Cherry’s one hit, Save Tonight, peaked at number five (1999)
January 24th
25 years ago, on January 24th, 1996 - The FDA approved the fat substitute olestra in spite of the potential for “anal leakage.”
There was an obsession with low fat products in the ‘90s, back when everyone was convinced fat was the enemy (and also, we should eat 750 servings of white bread a day as part of a balanced diet). And if one were to pick the moment when the low fat craze jumped the shark, the introduction of olestra would be a prime candidate.
Olestra was a synthetic fat molecule that was larger than real fat and, therefore, passed right on through you. And I do mean right on through you. Because as much as olestra reduced the fat and calorie counts of items like potato chips, it had the unfortunate side effect of, as Frito-Lay wrote in an internal report, “anal oil leakage” and “underwear spotting.”
Unfortunately for Frito-Lay, and the other companies that used olestra in their products, the consumer base quickly decided the trade off of loose stools for low fat wasn’t worth it. Just three years after olestra products hit the market, their sales dropped to half of that of their debut year. And while olestra still occasionally finds its way into products today, it was not close to the low fat game changer it was projected to be. Thanks a lot, “underwear spotting.”
Also on January 24th: The San Francisco 49ers defeated the Cincinnati Bengals in the Super Bowl (1982)… two days after the Super Bowl commercial, the first Apple Macintosh went on sale (1984)… the WWF held its first Royal Rumble, won by Hacksaw Jim Duggan (1988)… serial killer Ted Bundy was executed by electric chair in Florida (1989)… Boyz II Men’s debut single Motownphilly was released and my wife can’t believe I chose to spotlight the anal leakage potato chips and not this for this day in history (1991)… the O.J. Simpson trial began (1995)
January 25th
29 years ago, on January 25th, 1992 - Color Me Badd’s single All 4 Love hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100.
Color Me Badd feels like one of those flash in the pan musical acts that was destined to be a one-hit wonder — at most a two-hit wonder. But no — as All 4 Love proved on this day in 1992, Color Me Badd was, in fact, a three-hit wonder.
It’s wild in retrospect to see just how big Color Me Badd was for one year before essentially vanishing forever. Their debut album, C.M.B., produced two number one hits and a number two hit (the other number one was I Adore Mi Amor; somehow their most famous song, I Wanna Sex You Up, only made it to number two). The album also had three other top 20 hits. It was a true early ‘90s R&B/New Jack Swing juggernaut.
So what happened? Two things. One, they swung and missed on their second album by trying to be too artsy. And two, music was undergoing a significant shift in 1993, away from the fluff that leaked into the ‘90s from the previous decade and toward more grounded genres like grunge and raw hip-hop. Color Me Badd tried to adapt by going harder on soul music, but didn’t quite hit the mark — finding themselves a group without a market niche.
But they’ll always have 1991.
Also on January 25th: Paul McCartney was released from jail in Japan after being held nine days on drug charges (1980)… 52 American hostages arrived back in the U.S. after 444 days in Iran (1981)… the New York Giants defeated the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl (1987)… R. Kelly’s single Bump n Grind was released (1994)… Adina Howard’s single Freak Like Me was released (1995)… the Denver Broncos defeated the Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl (1998)… David Beckham and Posh Spice got engaged (1998)… the Tom Green Show premiered on MTV (1999)… the first-ever hand transplant in the U.S. was performed (1999)… the Blair Witch Project premiered at the Sundance Film Festival (1999)
January 26th
27 years ago, on January 26th, 1994 - The Critic premiered on ABC.
The Critic was ABC’s attempt to get into the adult prime time cartoon business. They imported two of the top names from The Simpsons (Al Jean and Mike Reiss) to create a show centered around an ornery film critic in New York City. However, the goal seemed to be to create a show that was as un-Simpsons as possible. The Critic, therefore, became the first non-family sitcom ever in prime time. It was set in the real world, not an imaginary place, with a real and polarizing main character. It leaned further into the surreal and absurd at time than other mainstream cartoons. Its cynical tone extended from the main character into the overall atmosphere of the show itself.
The result of that stew was pretty obvious: Lots of critics (fittingly) loved it, as did some people with more meta senses of humor. But beyond that, the show didn’t catch on in anything resembling a mainstream way. ABC dropped it after one season, after which FOX picked it up. The Critic received a hell of a showcase in a crossover episode with The Simpsons (in an incredibly funny episode that added the concept of a “football in the groin” to the lexicon) — but Matt Groening’s very public hatred of being forced to create that episode cast a pall over the entire affair.
The Critic lasted only 10 episodes on FOX before it was canceled for good. It was, no doubt, ahead of its time; in today’s animated world, The Critic would slot right in with the adult animation on all of the streaming services.
Also on January 26th: The Dukes of Hazzard premiered on CBS (1979)… the Chicago Bears defeated the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl (1986)… Phantom of the Opera opened on Broadway (1988)… Surface’s one hit, The First Time, hit number one (1991)… the Washington Redskins defeated the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl (1992)… My So Called Life aired its series finale (1995)… the Green Bay Packers defeated the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl (1997)… Edwin McCain’s single I’ll Be was released (1998)… Bill Clinton said “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” (1998)
January 27th
37 years ago, on January 27th, 1984 - Michael Jackson’s hair caught on fire on the day that was the exact midpoint of his life.
The day Michael Jackson’s hair caught on fire was the turning point of his life, both metaphorically and literally.
Metaphorically: The story of Michael Jackson’s hair accidentally catching on fire during the filming of a Pepsi commercial is fairly well known. He suffered second-degree burns, after which he started taking painkillers — ultimately developing the addiction that led to his death 25 years later. That’s why this day metaphorically served as the turning point in his life.
Which, however morbidly, ties into the “literally” aspect of the Pepsi commercial serving as the turning point in Jackson’s life. A few years ago, someone calculated that Jackson’s hair caught on fire on his 9,283rd day — the exact halfway mark of his life. He died at age 50, on his 18,565th day.
Also on January 27th: Cyndi Lauper’s single Time After Time was released (1990)…Whitney Houston famously sang the National Anthem and the New York Giants defeated the Buffalo Bills in the Super Bowl (1991)… Andre the Giant passed away (1993)… the Golf Channel debuted (1995)… The Verve Pipe’s single The Freshmen was released (1997)… Shania Twain’s single You’re Still the One and Will Smith’s single Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It were released (1998)
January 28th
37 years ago, on January 28th, 1984 - The NBA held its first-ever Slam Dunk Contest.
Before I settled in to write this, I watched a highlight reel of the ‘84 dunk contest. The dunks are, in most cases, quaint and basic. Dr. J’s first dunk in the contest is literally just him jumping up and dunking the ball right handed. Even one of (eventual winner) Larry Nance’s dunks in the final round of the competition is just a two-handed dunk with his legs slightly open. There are few, if any, dunks in this competition that would be too challenging for modern NBA players to pull off during a game — and not just on a breakaway, but through the lane, contested.
But the quality of the dunks in the 1984 contest aren’t important. What matters is that the NBA introduced the Slam Dunk Contest itself, beginning its road to turning All-Star Weekend into a mega-event; by far and away the best all-star presentation of any of the major sports.
The Slam Dunk Contest is still grandfathered in as the main event of All-Star Saturday Night, even though its prestige and popularity has greatly faded over the past four decades. Eventually, there were only so many ways players could dunk a basketball. The Slam Dunk Contest then turned to gimmicks and lost its luster, even being canceled in 1998. It came back a few years later with what’s probably the last memorable winning performance from Vince Carter; in the 20 years since, the dunk contest has sorely lacked star power (notably, LeBron never competed) and it’s rare that it produces a dunk that gets people buzzing beyond the night of the contest itself.
In some ways, the Slam Dunk Contest is a victim of the evolution of basketball; as I noted earlier, today’s players are so incredibly athletic that in-game dunks by the mega stars produce far more oohs and aahs than the choreographed, gimmicked, and often teetering on corny dunks by the not-so-famous dunk contest participants.
Also on January 28th: We Are the World was recorded (1985)… the Challenger space shuttle exploded (1986)… the San Francisco 49ers defeated the Denver Broncos in the Super Bowl (1990)… the Beastie Boys single Sabotage was released (1994)… a judge declared a mistrial in the Menendez case (1994)… Memphis received a Canadian Football League team (1995)… Corona’s one hit, Rhythm of the Night, peaked at number 11 (1995)… the Dallas Cowboys defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl (1996)… 112’s single Anywhere was released (1999)… Yahoo purchased GeoCities (1999)
Everything old is new again
A look at the reboots, revivals, throwbacks, retro insights, and nostalgia in the news.
The New Radicals reunited for the first time in more than 20 years to play at the inauguration on Wednesday; Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff used their hit You Get What You Give as his theme music at rallies and the song was also a rallying cry of the Biden family during Beau Biden’s battle with cancer.
The Saved by the Bell reboot has been renewed for a second season.
The original five seasons of The Muppet Show are coming to Disney+ next month. It’s the show’s streaming debut.
There’s a new documentary in the works about the history of NBA Jam.
Wonka, a prequel to the Chocolate Factory story/movies, has been scheduled to come out in 2023.
Liam Neeson says he’s been approached by Seth MacFarlane to make a Naked Gun reboot. Because the rule, I guess, is that the star of Naked Gun has to have the initials L.N.
A Radiohead demo cassette from 1987 — when the band was still going by the name On a Friday — is up for auction.
Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins reunited for the 30th anniversary of The Silence of the Lambs.
There are rumors the DeLorean may come back as an electric car.
A box of first edition Pokemon cards from 1999 just sold for a record $408,000.
Throwbacks and recommendations
Rolling Stone picked the 10 best TV reboots of all time, most of which are reboots of shows from the ‘80s and ‘90s.
Why do so many of the early video game companies’ names start with A? (Atari, Acclaim, Activision, etc.) Here’s the theory.
Here’s a deep dive into America’s brief, odd love affair with chocolate-flavored soda in the mid ‘80s.
Thanks for reading!
-Sam