March 11: Celebrity Boxing, March Madness upsets, Frankie Says Relax
Plus Matt LeBlanc's first and only headline role in a major movie
The Retro by 11 Points
Modern perspectives on ‘80s and ‘90s nostalgia
March 11th, 2022 • Issue 90
This week in nostalgic history
March 11th
36 years ago, on March 11th, 1986 - The NFL adopted instant replay, although they’d drop it six years later.
The NFL’s relationship with instant replay is like my relationship with eight hours of sleep. Yes, better sleep probably improves my life but I have never fully committed to eight (or even seven hours). Instead I’m eternally tinkering with my sleep cycles, night routine, morning routine, alarm clock, blue light exposure, and everything else imaginable in lieu of just going with the ideal eight hours.
After decades of consideration, the NFL owners narrowly voted to adopt instant replay on this day in 1986. But… the technology wasn’t quite there. Replay officials watched plays on a nine-inch monitor, then shared their verdict with the refs on the field via walkie-talkie. As a result, too few calls were overturned and, from time to time, a ref on the field even misheard the garbled walkie-talkie message and went with the wrong decision.
So before the 1992 season, the NFL owners canned the replay experiment.
It returned in 1999 — only after technology could better support it and the NFL came up with some pretty solid ideas to keep replays from slowing down the game too much.
Still, even though we’re nearly a quarter century into this era of replay and fans who are under the age of 117 really like the idea of correct calls rather than “the human element,” the relationship between the NFL and replay remains contentious and chock full of endless tinkering.
There are still plenty of (seemingly random) game-changing plays throughout an NFL game that are not eligible for review. When the NFL decided to allow pass interference calls to be reviewed, the referees sandbagged the process for an entire season and more or less refused to ever overrule a call. Pass interference reviews were then dropped.
Replay is too ingrained in the game at this point to go away, but the league’s various institutions (owners, refs, league office) are too dug in to expand it — so until the day comes when the older generation passes on and we get robot refs, the tinkering and frustration will continue.
Also on March 11th: Popsicle announced plans to switch from two-sticks to a one-stick version (1986)… Stand and Deliver and Vice Versa hit theaters (1988)… COPS premiered on FOX (1989)… H-Town’s single Knockin’ Da Boots was released (1993)… Last Exit to Springfield, often called the best Simpsons episode ever, premiered on FOX (1993)… Four Weddings and a Funeral hit theaters (1994)… Des’ree’s one hit, You Gotta Be, peaked at number five (1995)… Steve Austin debuted his new Stone Cold gimmick at a WWF Monday Night Raw taping (1996)… Paul McCartney was knighted (1997)
March 12th
28 years ago, on March 12th, 1994 - The most famous Loch Ness Monster photo in history turned out to be a hoax.
There have been hundreds (if not more) Loch Ness Monster sightings — dating all the way back to the 6th century. But the most famous was in 1934, when a doctor driving through Scotland took the first-ever photo of the monster.
That photo, much like the famous blurry Bigfoot photo, inspired generations of curiosity. Until, on this day in 1994, some journalists in the U.K. published an article which revealed the whole thing was a hoax.
The Loch Ness Monster in the photo was actually molded plastic atop a toy submarine. It was created by a guy named Marmaduke Wetherell, who liked pulling large-scale, press-worthy pranks (kind of like Nathan Fielder, but without the cleverness or social commentary).
He enlisted a doctor friend to take the photo and lend credibility to the hoax; the doctor never thought it would become such a big deal. (And when reporters in the time pressed the doctor for more details about the sighting, he told them he couldn’t discuss it because he was with a woman at the time of the photo — and she was married and cheating on her husband. It’s not clear if that was a hoax or not as well.)
But even after the evidence came out on this day in 1994, Loch Ness Monster sightings continued and still continue today. After all, as we’ve seen in recent years, there’s really no single piece of evidence, no matter how definitive, that can shake people who worship at the altar of a conspiracy.
Also on March 12th: Les Miserables opened on Broadway for the first time (1987)… Rick Astley’s Never Gonna Give You Up hit number one on the Billboard Hot 100 (1988)… the eternally-filled-with-wanderlust Raiders announced they were returning to Oakland from Los Angeles (1990)… REM’s album Out of Time was released (1991)… Ace of Base’s song The Sign hit number one (1993)… Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf was suspended by the NBA for not coming out of the locker room for the national anthem (1996)… The Shield premiered on FX (2002)… the Undeclared series finale aired on FOX (2002)
March 13th
20 years ago, on March 13th, 2002 - Celebrity Boxing premiered on FOX.
Celebrity Boxing was part of the early era of reality TV, where networks (especially the shame-bereft folks at FOX) realized trashy and/or mean-spirited reality TV was both cheaper and more popular than pretty much anything else they produced. Celebrity Boxing came in the “throw it all at the reality TV wall and see what sticks” phase.
The event itself was mostly a disappointment — a predictable inevitability with untrained boxers having boxing matches. A surprisingly in-shape Danny Bonaduce defeated Barry Williams. Todd Bridges defeated Vanilla Ice by decision. And Tonya Harding defeated Paula Jones (a last-minute substitute for Amy Fisher, who got cold feet) after Jones ran away from contact for a while and they just quit.
FOX would run a second Celebrity Boxing event in May 2002, then shelved the concept for good.
While Celebrity Boxing lacked staying power, it did, at the very least, establish a trend that remains today: A very loose definition of the word “celebrity” in reality TV spectacles. Even prestige reality TV like Dancing with the Stars still only attracts celebrities at a certain level of fame; those celebrities with true drawing power have all taken far more lucrative and less debasing reality TV gigs like judging, hosting, or producing.
Also on March 13th: William Shatner’s show T.J. Hooker premiered on ABC (1982)… Microsoft had its initial public offering (1986)… the first cassette single went on sale nationwide in the U.S. (1987)… My Cousin Vinny hit theaters (1992)… the underrated CB4 hit theaters (1993)… Snow’s classic Informer hit number one (1993)… Bryce Drew of Valparaiso hit a famous March Madness buzzer beater (1998)… Cher’s single Believe hit number one (1999)…
March 14th
24 years ago, on March 14th, 1998 - The Harvard women’s basketball team became the first NCAA tournament 16-seed to defeat a number one seed.
Only two 16 seeds have ever defeated a number one seed in the NCAA tournaments; one women’s team and one men’s.
Today’s upset by Harvard over Stanford (in basically “Spider-Man pointing at himself” school match-up), was the first.
The women’s tournament expanded to a 64-team field just four years earlier. Stanford, a top seed, was without two of its best players — who were two of the top players in the country — due to injury. Harvard got the 16-seed because of its less competitive conference but was better than its ranking and had the top scoring player in the country.
It would take another 20 years after this for the first 16-beats-1 in the men’s tournament. In 2018, 16-seed University of Maryland, Baltimore County defeated top-seed Virginia.
We’ll probably see another number 16 defeat a number one at some point in our lifetimes — but an analysis by FiveThirtyEight found it will probably come in the men’s tournament, not the women’s.
The talent gap between players at top schools and other schools in the women’s basketball continues to grow as the best players gravitate to a small handful of schools. So barring another situation like Stanford’s injury bug colliding with an Harvard’s undeserved low ranking, rare 16-over-1 upsets become even rarer.
Also on March 14th: Huey Lewis and the News’ single Jacob’s Ladder hit number one (1997)… Heart’s single All I Want to Do Is Make Love to You was released (1990)… Farm Aid V was held in Irving, Texas (1992)… the Soviet newspaper Pravda shut down (1992)… the Goo Goo Dolls’ album A Boy Named Goo and Collective Soul’s single December were released (1995)… a Canadian Football League team drafted a dead player… for the second year in a row (1996)… KP & Envyi’s one hit, Swing My Way, peaked at number six (1998)… Will Smith’s Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It hit number one (1998)… Ray Charles made his first solo performance in 53 years on QVC of all places (1998)
March 15th
26 years ago, on March 15th, 1996 - Matt LeBlanc’s baseball/chimpanzee movie Ed hit theaters.
Friends received quite a bit of buzz right out of the gate in 1994 — meaning its stars quickly started receiving movie offers.
Ed was Matt LeBlanc’s first chance to headline a movie.
Well… co-headline a movie. With a chimpanzee.
It would also be Matt LeBlanc’s last chance to headline a movie.
(After he had to work with monkey on Friends as well, I wonder if his agents now write a “no primates” clause into all of his contracts. Although, best I can find, the chimpanzee in Ed was played by a rotation of two different stuntpeople in a costume with some ‘90s special effects painted on top.)
Ed was your standard tale of a minor league baseball player developing a friendship with his roommate/monkey as the two help each other out of jam after jam.
The movie (shockingly based on the premise) was not good. It bombed in theaters, received a 0% from critics on Rotten Tomatoes — and essentially ended Matt LeBlanc’s movie career.
He’s appeared in only half a dozen films since Ed, none of which was a vehicle for him or featured his name above the title like Ed.
Then again, he’s also been the headline star of three TV series post-Friends. Ed, it seems, was a definitive moment in his career — after which he picked a lane, stuck to it, and thrived.
Also on March 15th: Julius Caesar was stabbed to death despite prophetic warnings (44 B.C.)… the series finale aired of the original version of The Muppet Show (1981)… Symbolic.com was the first domain name ever registered (1985)… Starship’s song Sara hit number one (1986)… the St. Louis Cardinals NFL team moved to Phoenix (1988)… Madonna’s single I’ll Remember was released (1994)… Executive Decision hit theaters (1996)
March 16th
37 years ago, on March 16th, 1985 - Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s one hit, Relax, peaked at number 10.
Relax was the overtly sexual debut single from the overtly sexual group Frankie Goes to Hollywood. The two lead singers were both openly gay and proud; the guitarist, drummer, and bass player were straight and made sure people knew it.
Relax was widely banned due to its lyrics — lyrics which were about as clear of double entendres as you’ll find, with barely a shred of plausible deniability.
In spite of the bans (or, perhaps, because of them), Relax and Frankie Goes to Hollywood became a brief phenomenon, first in their native U.K. and then the U.S., even spawning the “Frankie Says Relax” t-shirt craze.
Frankie Goes to Hollywood was a one-hit wonder in the U.S. and a two-hit wonder in the U.K. — less a statement on their music and more on their inability to get along.
The group split up in 1987 after just two albums because, well, they just kept in-fighting and couldn’t… relax. Sorry.
Also on March 16th: France legalized ostrich eating (1993)… Tonya Harding plead guilty to conspiracy in the Nancy Kerrigan attack (1994)… Eazy E announced he had AIDS (1995)… the famous prohibition episode of The Simpsons aired on FOX (1997)… the PC game Everquest was released (1999)… WCW Monday Nitro and WCW Thunder were both canceled by Turner Broadcasting, bringing an end to wrestling’s Monday night wars (2001)… Memento hit theaters (2001)
March 17th
27 years ago, on March 17th, 1995 - The first chickenpox vaccine was approved by the FDA.
My wife and I will often talk about childhood experiences we had that our kids will not. (Things like taping songs off the radio, recording answering machine messages, seeing friends at the mall, you know the drill.) Something we forget — and that’s easy to forget — is chickenpox.
When I was in first grade, every kid in the class was out with chickenpox at some point in the year. It was a true rite of passage.
But since the chickenpox vaccine was approved on this day in 1995, and became the “V” added to “MMR” to make “MMRV,” chickenpox cases have dropped 92%. Hospitalizations have dropped 84%. Deaths have dropped 90%.
Of course, we live in an era where politicians, TV charlatans, and social media hucksters have found, apparently, there’s lots of money in talking the Dunning-Kruger set out of taking life-saving vaccines.
For now, it seems like the MMRV set is mostly hanging tough, with only the “I was anti-vax before they told me to be” contingent declining it for their kids. We can only hope the rest of the passengers on the ship of fools get distracted by enough other shiny objects that we can keep it that way.
Also on March 17th: Apple sued Microsoft for copyright infringement over Windows (1988)… Biz Markie’s one hit Just a Friend peaked at number nine (1990)… reforms to end apartheid passed in South Africa (1992)… En Vogue’s single My Lovin’ was released (1992)… The Eagles’ album Their Greatest Hits tied Michael Jackson’s Thriller as the bestselling album in U.S. history (1997)… K-Ci and Jojo’s single All My Life was released (1998)… Erin Brockovich, Final Destination, and Beyond the Mat all hit theaters (2000)
Everything old is new again
A look at the reboots, revivals, throwbacks, retro insights, and nostalgia in the news.
Both actresses who played Aunt Viv in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have guest star roles (as other characters) in the dramatic reboot Bel-Air.
Super Nintendo World, the first Nintendo theme park in the U.S., is scheduled to open next year at Universal Studios Hollywood.
Disney+ is taking yet another crack at a Muppets reboot. This one is a sitcom called The Muppets Mayhem and starts filming next month.
Ernie Hudson has joined the Quantum Leap reboot.
A new collection of the 13 retro Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles video games is coming out later this year for all the modern video game consoles.
Sony unveiled two new Walkmen… which cost $1,600 and $3,200 respectively. The more expensive one is gold plated.
Throwbacks and recommendations
The Instagram account @springfield.palettes takes colorful scenes from The Simpsons and breaks down their color palettes.
An official Princess Bride cookbook is available for preorder on Amazon. It’s due out in December.
Here’s a ranking of the best to worst Batman movies, with the top three all coming from a short window in the ‘80s and ‘90s.
Thanks for reading!
-Sam