March 19: ALF, Achy Breaky Heart, Moonwalk

Plus Simpsons future predictions, the two-point conversion, and more

Sam Greenspan

Mar 19, 2021

The Retro by 11 Points

Modern perspectives on ‘80s and ‘90s nostalgia

March 19th, 2021 • Issue 39

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This week in nostalgic history

March 19th

26 years ago, on March 19th, 1995 - The first futuristic episode of The Simpsons aired, “Lisa’s Wedding” — and five years later to the day, the second futuristic episode, “Bart to the Future”, aired.

Every five years, The Simpsons does an episode that looks into the future. The (unofficial? inadvertent?) bi-decadely tradition began on this day in 1995 with “Lisa’s Wedding” — the show’s only futuristic episode of its golden era.
“Lisa’s Wedding” jumped ahead to 2010 and featured Lisa on the verge of marrying a British man named Hugh, who’s essentially Hugh Grant (even though he was voiced by Mandy Patinkin, so very randomly). The episode features a dizzying array of splendid glimpses at the future, as filtered through the prism of the world of The Simpsons, from a digital display on Big Ben to a bald Milhouse. (It also features a ton of those classic “The Simpsons predicted the future” moments, like TV network conglomeration and the Rolling Stones still touring.) This episode was regarded as instant Simpsons magic by fans and critics alike; it would win the Emmy for Outstanding Animated Program.
The Simpsons went back to the well on this day in 2000, with “Bart to the Future” and, yes, there were diminishing returns (although perhaps not as diminishing as they could’ve been). In that episode, set in 2030, Lisa Simpson was president and Bart, her mooch/loser brother, is still a thorn in her side. This episode is now, perhaps, known for the most famous future prediction in the history of The Simpsons — when President Lisa mentions she “inherited quite a budget crunch from President Trump.” So if you’re wondering who put that out into the universe...

Also on March 19th: Porky’s hit theaters (1982)… Nancy Reagan appeared on Diff’rent Strokes to kick off her “Just say no” campaign (1983)… Spin magazine debuted (1985)… Televangelist Jim Bakker resigned as host of the PTL Club over a sex scandal (1987)… Collective Soul’s single Shine was released (1993)… Michael Jordan played his first game after coming out of his first retirement (1995)… Tracy Chapman’s single Give Me One Reason was released (1996)… Forces of Nature hit theaters (1999)

March 20th

28 years ago, on March 20th, 1993 - Positive K’s one hit, I Got a Man, peaked at number 14 on the Billboard Hot 100.

Positive K’s one hit I Got a Man features my favorite piece of ‘90s music trivia — and I believe it’s even more interesting than what sign the members of Ace of Base saw or what it means to compare someone to a kiss from a rose on the gray. (It was so crazy to me I once wrote about it on my website, but I feel like I need to bring it into this medium as well.)
I Got a Man is a rap duet between a man and a woman as the guy tries (and fails) to pick her up. And it turns out the woman rapping with Positive K is… also Positive K. He did both parts, then changed the pitch of his voice in post-production to make it sound higher. The more people who know this, the better.
How is this guy a one-hit wonder? He should’ve received a Nobel Prize for pulling that off. Any category would be fine. Let’s say chemistry.

Also on March 20th: Joan Jett and the Blackhearts’ single I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll hit number one (1982)… Major League Baseball announced Pete Rose was under investigation for gambling (1989)… Sinead O’Connor’s album I Do Now Want What I Haven’t Got and Bell Biv DeVoe’s album Poison were both released (1990)… Basic Instinct hit theaters (1992)… Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon had their famous ladder match at WrestleMania X (1994)… the Menendez brothers were convicted of murder (1996)… Primary Colors and Wild Things both hit theaters (1998)… Legoland opened in California (1999)

March 21st

22 years ago, on March 21st, 1999 - Roberto Benigni walked on the chairs after winning at the 71st Academy Awards.

Few people have experienced a Hollywood ascent and descent faster than Roberto Benigni’s. Throughout his career, starting in the early ‘80s, he was a mostly unknown actor outside of Italy (and possibly even in Italy). Then in 1997, he directed and starred in Life Is Beautiful — and suddenly, he was a huge deal. His unfiltered Balki Bartokomous shtick (however much of it was real versus a strategic put-on) charmed the hell out of the American audience for the Oscars, which culminated in him walking across the chairs of the theater to accept Life Is Beautiful’s award for Best Foreign Language Film. Then he won Best Actor later in the night, and though it wasn’t accompanied by another stunt, it reinforced his rising star and turning him into something of an overnight sensation in the U.S.
The foundation, however, was so shaky, it didn’t last. His big follow-up film didn’t come until three years later, when he’d already faded from the zeitgeist as ephemeral overnight successes often do. The film was Pinocchio, which was a mega bomb in the U.S., but successful in Italy. It was abundantly clear where his future was, and his career continues in Italy today — with little to no crossover back into Hollywood.
We’ll always have the chair walk.

Also on March 21st: Someone shot J.R. on Dallas (1989)… REO Speedwagon’s single Keep On Loving You hit number one (1981)… Annie hit theaters (1982)… TIME magazine had a typo on its cover for the only time (control was missing an “r”) (1983)… Part of Central Park in New York was named Strawberry Fields in honor of John Lennon (1984)… Police Academy 3 and RAD both hit theaters (1986)… Club Nouveau’s single Lean on Me hit number one (1987)… Madonna’s album Like a prayer was released (1989)… Queen’s single Bohemian Rhapsody returned to the Billboard Hot 100 chart for the first time since 1975 (1992)… Steven Spielberg won his first Oscars, for Schindler’s List (1994)… NewsRadio premiered (1995)… Liar Liar and Selena both hit theaters (1997)… Shakespeare in Love and Gwyneth Paltrow won at the Oscars (1999)

March 22nd

27 years ago, on March 22nd, 1994 - The NFL added the two-point conversion.

The NFL throughout its history has been famously resistant to rule changes, regardless of how much better they might make the game. (See: The fact that the NFL still has the worst overtime rules in all of sports.) It’s hard to fault them based on the league’s success, but still. Why be actively worse when it’s so easy to be better?
The two-point conversion was one of those cases where the NFL dug their feet into the ground for no apparent reason other than “we’re the NFL and we dig our feet into the ground.” College football adopted the two-point conversion — where a team could kick either a one-point extra point after a touchdown, or attempt to get into the end zone from a short distance for two points — in 1958. The Canadian Football League adopted it in 1975. Even the American Football League used it for its entire existence from 1960 through 1969 — but then when the AFL merged with the NFL, the NFL refused to incorporate it.
It was finally on this day in 1994 when the NFL owners agreed to bring the two-point option into the game. The first week of the 1994 season would see the first two-point conversion, as Cleveland Browns 1.0 punter Tom Tupa, the holder on extra points, ran the ball into the end zone on a fake kick.
Two-point adoption in the NFL, however, has been slow over the past quarter century. With modern understanding of analytics (or even understanding of basic math), it makes sense for NFL teams to go for two points more often — the expected points per try is higher than kicking. (It’s why basketball teams now jack up approximately 3,000 three-pointers per game — expected points per possession.) The NFL may be stubborn about rule changes, but its coaches might be even more stubborn when it comes to math-backed but tradition-bucking decisions. That includes things like punting rather than going for it on fourth down more often, kicking field goals rather than going for touchdowns more often, or, yes, kicking the extra point rather than going for two more often.
NFL teams today attempt two-point conversions after only one of around 10 touchdowns. And that’s actually a higher rate than in previous years.

Also on March 22nd: Pink Floyd’s single Another Brick in the Wall hit number one (1980)… Heart’s single These Dreams hit number one (1986)… Patti LaBelle and Michael McDonald’s single On My Own was released (1986)… 95 South’s single Whoot There It Is was released (1993)… Intel shipped its first Pentium chips (1993)… Prodigy’s one hit, Firestarter, peaked at number 30 (1997)… Puff Daddy and Ma$e’s single Can’t Nobody Hold Me Down hit number one (1997)… Lonestar’s single Amazed was released (1999)

March 23rd

29 years ago, on March 23rd, 1992 - Billy Ray Cyrus’s single Achy Breaky Heart was released.

I was top 40 obsessed in 1992, but it’s still not totally clear to me how that year Achy Breaky Heart, of all the country songs in the history of the genre, became one of the biggest crossover hits of all time. I mean… it’s not a good song. There’s a certain nostalgia associated with it now, but it’s objectively not good. Right?
Still, there must have been something about the song that just worked for people. Maybe it was the early ‘90s love of coordinated line dances, with Achy Breaky Heart coming in on the heels of The Electric Slide. Maybe it was the catchy melody coupled with accessible lyrics (there’s no subject matter that’s “too country”) in there. Maybe someone from the future came back to ensure the song would be a big enough hit to set off the butterfly effect of Achy Breaky Heart’s success — after all, without Achy Breaky Heart, we wouldn’t have Party in the U.S.A.
Again, it’s not clear. What is, however, is that American music audiences loved Achy Breaky Heart both ironically and non-ironically, enough to make it the first country song to go platinum since Islands in the Stream a decade earlier.

Also on March 23rd: Joanie Loves Chachi premiered on ABC (1982)… President Reagan announced the Star Wars initiative (1983)… Barney Clark, the first recipient of an artificial heart, died after 112 days (1983)… Police Academy hit theaters (1984)… the Breakfast Club met for detention (1984)… Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley got married (1985)… the Soul Train Music Awards debuted (1987)… Pretty Woman hit theaters (1990)… Extreme’s single More Than Words was released (1991)… Oleta Adams’ one hit Get Here peaked at number five, and Susanna Hoffs’s one solo hit My Side of the Bed peaked at number 30 (1991)… Wayne Gretzky set the NHL goals record (1994)… the Roxbury Guys debuted on Saturday Night Live (1996)… the Tony Rich Project’s one hit Nobody Knows peaked at number two (1996)… Celine Dion’s single Because You Loved Me hit number one (1996)… Titanic cleaned up at the Oscars (1998)… Ricky Martin’s single Livin’ La Vida Loca was released (1999)

March 24th

31 years ago, on March 24th, 1990 - The series finale of ALF aired… and ended on a cliffhanger.

The final episode of ALF, called “Consider Me Gone”, is a case study in hubris.
ALF — and especially ALF himself — were a true phenomenon when the series began. (It’s one of the first sitcoms I remember watching with my parents as a kid and I was ALF crazy. I definitely had his Burger King dolls and many ALF trading cards.) But the popularity wasn’t built to last. By the fourth season of ALF, ratings were way down and NBC seemed more or less ready to move on.
The ALF team wasn’t ready to go out, though. With potential cancellation dangling overhead, they still made the decision to go with a monumental cliffhanger for the season four finale: ALF, about to get on a ship to return to his home planet, was captured by the military. The final image was ALF, surrounded by military officials, with the words “To be continued…” on screen.
It’s possible the ALF team really didn’t think they were going to get canceled. It’s possible this cliffhanger was a plan to try to force NBC’s hand on renewing the show. But either way, the gambit didn’t work, and ALF was canceled, with its timeslot going to NBC’s new fish out of water series, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
ALF did get resolution, albeit unsatisfying resolution, six years later, when ABC inexplicably commissioned and aired a made-for-TV movie called Project: ALF. In that episode, we see ALF after his capture ultimately taking down a corrupt Air Force colonel (played by Martin Sheen) and being declared an ambassador to Earth. Not one member of the Tanner family appears in the movie and it bears little to no resemblance to the show that did, once upon a time, have a real legion of fans.

Also on March 24th: Larry Bird and Magic Johnson led their respective teams to the NCAA tournament final (1979)… Nightline premiered (1980)… Troop Beverly Hills hit theaters (1989)… the Exxon Valdez oil spill occurred (1989)… Alannah Myles’s single Black Velvet hit number one (1990)… Hulk Hogan defeated Sgt. Slaughter at WrestleMania VII (1991)… En Vogue’s album Funky Divas and Arrested Development’s album 3 Years, 5 Months and 2 Days were released (1992)… the series finale aired of Doogie Howser, M.D. (1993)… The English Patient won Best Picture at the 69th Oscars (1997)… NSync’s self-titled album was released (1998)

March 25th

38 years ago, on March 25th, 1983 - Michael Jackson debuted the moonwalk.

Michael Jackson didn’t invent the moonwalk — the name, yes, but not the dance move — but he perfected and popularized it to such an omnipresent extent no one else could do it in the future. (With all due respect to Jamiroquai.)
The night Michael Jackson debuted the moonwalk was also, symbolically, the night he finally and definitively separated himself from the Jackson 5. The brothers reunited for the Motown 25 event on this day in 1983 to perform together, as Jermaine had left the group and Michael was already the biggest pop star in the world. Despite his meteoric rise, however, Michael still had one foot back in the Jackson 5.
When you watch the performance of the Jackson 5 at the event, you can see Michael having to hold himself back as to only overshadow his brothers by about 10,000 percent and not 100,000 percent. He handles pretty much all of the singing and the camera almost never leaves him. And then, after the Jackson 5 performance is done and Michael gets the solo spotlight to perform Billie Jean, he moonwalks for the first time. The crowd erupts. The symbolism of him gliding away backwards — across the stage and, really, away from his original family band — was unmistakable.
This wasn’t the last time the Jackson 5 would ever perform together, but it was clear they were done. They’d have one more album and tour together, mixing their songs and Michael’s solo stuff — really, it was a Michael Jackson tour with the Jackson 5 along for the ride. After that, Michael left the group for good.

Also on March 25th: Cagney & Lacey premiered on CBS (1982)… The Outsiders hit theaters (1983)… Sally Field won and was liked at the 57th Oscars (1985)… Perfect Strangers premiered (1986)… Mike + The Mechanics’ single The Living Years hit number one (1989)… Dances with Wolves won Best Picture at the 63rd Oscars (1991)… D2: Mighty Ducks 2 and Above the Rim hit theaters (1993)… the first wiki was published online (1995)… Twister was the first movie released on DVD (1996)… Gina G’s single Ooh Ahh Just a Little Bit was released (1996)… Braveheart won Best Picture at the 68th Oscars (1996)… the new $100 bill design was released (1996)… Notorious BIG’s album Life After Death and Paula Cole’s equally impactful single Where Have All the Cowboys Gone were released (1997)

Everything old is new again

A look at the reboots, revivals, throwbacks, retro insights, and nostalgia in the news.

You can now play an augmented reality version of Pac-Man on boxes from Pizza Hut.
Netflix bought the rights to the She’s All That reboot called He’s All That. It will come out sometime this year.
A King of the Hill reboot is allegedly in the works.
Snoop Dogg, Ice Cube, Too $hort, and E-40 have formed a hip-hop supergroup called Mt. Westmore.
The Wonder Years reboot has cast its lead actor and there’s a video of Fred Savage telling him he got the part.
The Behind the Music revival (I really enjoy the “reboot thesaurus” games the networks play with their descriptions of their shows) on Paramount+ will kick off with Huey Lewis, LL Cool J, Jennifer Lopez, and Ricky Martin.
Sarah Silverman says she got fired from her first sitcom role — on NBC’s Pride & Joy in 1995 — because she didn’t know how to screen kiss and “I just fully did an open-mouth tongue kiss every time.”
Marc Price — not my childhood basketball hero, the guy who played Skippy on Family Ties — says he tried to impress Lisa Bonet by sneaking her onto the empty set of The Tonight Show.

Throwbacks and recommendations

Adobe filed a DMCA claim against a guy who tweeted a link to a version of Adobe Acrobat Reader from 1994 for MS-DOS. Even though it’s 27 years old, from a defunct operating system, and it was free software.
Here’s a list of 25 facts about “Nickelodeon’s TV heyday.”
An auction next month will sell classic movie props including John McClane’s Zippo lighter and badge from Die Hard, one of the scissor gloves from Edward Scissorhands, and Bill Murray’s Air Jordans from Space Jam.
This article dives into Kenner’s misguided decision to make an entire line of toys around the movie Alien.

Thanks for reading!

-Sam

The Retro