The Retro
by 11 Points
Modern perspectives on ‘80s and ‘90s nostalgia
September 3rd, 2021 • Issue 63
This week in nostalgic history
September 3rd
26 years ago, on September 3rd, 1995 - eBay launched, under the name AuctionWeb.
There have been millions of websites over the past quarter century that have tried a new eCommerce or shopping gimmick but they all boil down to one of two business models at their chewy center: Buy things from a business, or buy things from another person.
eBay was the first website to employ the latter model when it launched in 1995 (as “The AuctionWeb”), a project by computer programmer Pierre Omidyar. Famously, the first thing ever sold on eBay was a broken laser pointer for $14.83, which validated Omidyar’s concept — after all, if someone was willing to pay for a broken item, imagine what they’d pay for a functioning one.
(In the 26 years of eBay, I’ve wound up buying a few things I thought were functioning that were broken. Who ships a Super Nintendo in a box with zero padding?)
AuctionWeb’s popularity grew, at least as much as a website’s popularity could grow in the limited online population of 1995. The site was doing several hundred thousand transactions per month by September of 1997 (in large part thanks to the Beanie Babies fad) when the name changed to eBay.
Other auction sites have come and gone since (I remember a brief period in the late ‘90s when Yahoo and others attempted to run auction website competitors), but eBay remains the undisputed giant in the person-to-person auction space. And while the site has always, and continues to, struggle with some of the problems endemic to person-to-person internet sales, like PlayStation 3 boxes filled with rocks, it’s hard to imagine eBay ceding its grip on the auction space anytime soon.
Also on September 3rd: The Eurythmics’ single Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) hit number one (1983)… Vanilla Ice’s album To the Extreme was released (1990)…. Naughty By Nature’s debut album was released (1991)… a TV show called Australia’s Naughtiest Home Videos was canceled just over a half hour into its premiere (1992)… Infogear trademarked a product called the iPhone (1993)… Mario Lemieux became the first pro athlete to buy a team he once played for when his group took over ownership of the Pittsburgh Penguins (1999)
September 4th
28 years ago, on September 4th, 1993 - Jim Abbott, the MLB pitcher who was born without a right hand, threw a no-hitter.
I don’t think it’d be possible to calculate these odds, since we’re dealing with n=1, but the event today remains one of the most inconceivable feats in sports history. Jim Abbott, born without a right hand, didn’t just make the majors (as a first round draft pick) or have a 10-year career. On this day in 1993, he did something only a fewer than 300 pitchers have ever done in the 145 years of pro baseball: He threw a no-hitter.
(Granted, it was against the offensively inept ‘93 Cleveland Indians, but still. I remember going to a few games at the old stadium in Cleveland in its final days in 1993. Scalpers charged $3 for great seats and apologized as they were taking the money.)
Abbott’s feat on this day was career defining — and not just for his career as a baseball player. As a monohanded professional athlete, he probably still had the motivational/inspirational speaker circuit awaiting him when his playing days ended; after the no-hitter, he could add at least one zero to his quote. (I looked him up and his fee today is still estimated at $15,000 to $20,000 for a speech.)
Also on September 4th: The asterisk next to Roger Maris’s home run record was dropped (1991)… the NFL saw its first two-point conversion (1994)… season six of The Simpsons began with the classic episode Bart of Darkness (1994)… Xena: Warrior Princess debuted (1995)… WCW Monday Nitro premiered on TNT (1995)… Google was incorporated (1998)… Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? aired for the first time ever, in the U.K. (1998)… Enrique Iglesias’s single Bailamos hit number one (1999)… Kelly Clarkson won the first season of American Idol (2002)
September 5th
45 years ago, on September 5th, 1976 - The Muppet Show premiered.
The Muppet Show was way too far ahead of its time in 1976; even today, it would be the domain of a network like IFC or Adult Swim. The show was simultaneously a variety show and a parody of the behind-the-scenes workings of a variety show, a slapstick, surrealist, theater of the absurd — with singing puppets.
There’s no wonder it was a hard sell to the TV networks. Jim Henson tried for years to get the Muppets on the air in the U.S. to no avail before, finally, a TV producer in the U.K. liked the idea and took it on. As a result, the show was filmed in England and syndicated in the U.S.
Somehow, in spite of its avant garde weirdness, American audiences took to it. The Muppet Show was a massive hit and won a ton of awards (including the Emmy for Outstanding Comedy Variety or Music Series in 1978). The show also continued to print money after its initial five-season run; networks just kept on airing the episodes, introducing them to more and more people each time. My memories of the mid ‘80s are very limited, but I’m pretty sure when my family and I watched The Muppet Show, we had no idea the episodes already aired at least half a decade earlier.
The Muppets haven’t gone anywhere in the 45 years since today’s debut, even if attempts to reboot and recapture the magic of the original TV series have never really worked out. The latest incarnation is Muppets Now, which was a pandemic series on Disney+ last year.
But I think we’ve all come to learn whether Muppets Now is a hit or not, the Muppets will be right back soon. They’re never going anywhere, which is a very good thing.
Also on September 5th: He-Man and the Masters of the Universe premiered (1983)… Sports Illustrated became the first full-color magazine (1983)… American Bandstand aired for the last time on ABC after 30 years (it went on two more years in syndication) (1987)… the children’s game show Fun House premiered (1988)… Deborah Norville became the anchor of the Today Show (1989)… Chris Evert retired from tennis (1989)… MC Hammer’s single 2 Legit 2 Quit was released (1991)… Mother Teresa passed away at age 87 (1997)… Aerosmith’s single I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing hit number one (1998)… The Amazing Race premiered on CBS (2001)
September 6th
35 years ago, on September 6th, 1986 - Bananarama’s single Venus hit number one.
Bananarama is one of those artists, like Robbie Williams, Kylie Minogue, Blur, and Right Said Fred, who made a small-ish splash in the U.S. but were British musical giants.
Before I started writing this, I had to check if Venus was Bananarama’s only top 40 hit in the U.S.; it wasn’t, they have two others in Cruel Summer in 1983 and I Heard a Rumour in 1987. The fact that I had to check would be unthinkable to my non-union British equivalent writing The Retrou, because in the U.K., Bananarama had 26 top 40 hits, with one as recent as 2009’s Love Comes.
I’m not sure why Bananarama wasn’t a bigger deal here, other than perhaps a lesser cultural appreciation of poppy dance music (with all due respect to the Vengaboys).
Also on September 6th: Benny Mardones’s one hit, Into the Night, peaked at number 11 (1980)… the city of Leningrad’s name reverted to St. Petersburg (1991)… Brandy’s debut single I Wanna Be Down was released (1994)… 4PM’s single Sukiyaki was released (1994)… Cal Ripken Jr. broke Lou Gehrig’s record for consecutive games played (1995)… Bulletproof hit theaters (1996)… Princess Diana’s funeral was held (1997)
September 7th
42 years ago, on September 7th, 1979 - ESPN debuted on U.S. cable systems.
There was a book (Those Guys Have All the Fun) about a decade ago featuring a long oral history of ESPN, detailing the network’s rise from a marginal player in the early days of cable to a cornerstone so fundamental today it can get away with demanding carriage fee from the cable providers which is several standard deviations higher than any other network.
But in these early days, mythology building aside, ESPN really was an underdog. The network grew early thanks largely to a sweet deal with the NCAA, which didn’t quite realize the monetary value of its sports rights (a concept today almost more inexplicable than ESPN being an underdog). ESPN also snatched up broadcasts of whatever sports it could find; the first sporting event aired on this day in 1979 was the first game of the best-of-nine men’s professional slow-pitch softball finals between the Milwaukee Schlitz and the Kentucky Bourbons. (The Schlitz wound up taking the series 5-4. No two words get sports fans more excited than “game nine!”)
Of course, today, ESPN is an untouchable goliath in both sports and broadcasting, not just airing every major sports league but also, with some regularity, making news just as much as it’s reporting on it.
Also on September 7th: The People’s Court premiered (1991)… the American Express platinum card debuted (1984)… John Parr’s single St. Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion) hit number one (1985)… Star Wars: Ewoks and Star Wars: Droids premiered on ABC (1985)… Small Wonder premiered (1985)… the NFL overturned its first play ever using instant replay (1986)… Geraldo premiered (1987)… Keith Sweat’s single I Want Her was released (1987)… Mark Whitten of the St. Louis Cardinals had the best statistical game ever with four home runs and 12 RBIs (1993)… the short-lived Chevy Chase Show debuted on FOX (1993)… Tupac Shakur was shot and killed (1996)
September 8th
24 years ago, on September 8th, 1997 - Ally McBeal premiered on FOX.
Ally McBeal is a strange show in that it was a ubiquitous cultural phenomenon for a minute — and then it seemed like no one ever talked about it again.
So why did that happen? What precipitated Ally McBeal’s drop off the map?
It’s possible David E. Kelley lost his focus, moving on to The Practice, which was doing even better on a stronger network. It’s possible that Calista Flockhart either didn’t want or didn’t have that little something extra to become a transcendent headliner. (A 2007 Los Angeles Times article referred to her as a “reluctant star.”) Or it’s possible the show was just a little early; had it come around a decade later when ratings were universally lower and TV began serving more niche audiences, it could’ve had a nice, long Grey’s Anatomy run and we’d be starting the 25th season right now.
Naturally, there’s talk of a reboot — it’s a piece of pop culture from the ‘90s with name value, after all — but no concrete plans.
Also on September 8th: Oprah Winfrey’s talk show became nationally syndicated (1986)… Herschel Walker made his NFL debut after leaving the USFL (1986)… Gary Hart admitted to adultery (1987)… Jean-Claude van Damme’s movie Kickboxer hit theaters (1989)… Bon Jovi’s single Blaze of Glory hit number one (1990)… Bobby’s World premiered (1990)… Herman’s Head and Darkwing Duck both premiered (1991)… MLB’s plan to split into three divisions was approved for the American League (1993)… Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley appeared together at the MTV VMAs (1994)… To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar hit theaters (1995)… Arthur and Blue’s Clues both premiered (1996)… America Online acquired CompuServe (1997)… Mark McGwire hit his record breaking 62nd home run (1998)… Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban was released (1999)… Afroman’s one hit, Because I Got High, peaked at number 13 and Jennifer Lopez and Ja Rule’s single I’m Real hit number one (2001)
September 9th
30 years ago, on September 9th, 1991 - The Maury Povich Show premiered.
Maury is well-known now as the reigning champ of trash TV, a mantle once held by the patriarchs of trash TV, Geraldo and Jerry Springer.
It’s true: when it comes to trash TV talk shows, Maury Povich is the reigning champ, but he is not the father.
Today’s Maury has plenty of viral trash TV moments, whether it’s a woman who’s scared of cotton balls being confronted on stage by stranger dressed in a cotton ball suit or the endless string of “you are/are NOT the father” reveals.
But that was not always the case. When The Maury Povich Show began on this day in 1991, it aimed for more grounded, weighty talk show subjects. It was still plenty sensationalized — comes with the territory — but aimed a level above unabashed nonsense.
According to TVTropes.org, the show began to change around 1998 — not coincidentally when The Jerry Springer Show was dominating the ratings with its focus on fighting, sex, and sex fights. The Maury ownership changed and the ethos changed. The name also changed, from The Maury Povich Show to just Maury.
Maury Povich himself didn’t seem to resist the transition. While Springer always seemed like he was a really sleazy human being, Povich presented himself with more of a classic newsman presence (however unearned, since he’d been in the tabloid world since the mid ‘80s when he hosted A Current Affair). So as Jerry Springer faded, Maury completed its gradual switch to talk show bottom hunting.
Maury continues on today, still producing its spin on trash TV, perhaps the most insidious one of all the purveyors of the genre: By masking its contempt through a false veneer of sincere concern and thoughtfulness, rather than the Springer/Geraldo colosseum “fight it out, lunatics” honesty.
As of last TV season, Maury was the top-rated syndicated TV show amongst all the key advertising demos and averages 1.6 million viewers daily.
Also on September 9th: She-Ra premiered (1985)… Chicago’s single Look Away was released (1988)… American Gladiators premiered (1989)… New Kids on the Block’s single Hangin’ Tough hit number one (1989)… Pinky and the Brain premiered as a standalone show (1995)… Skee Lo’s single I Wish peaked at number 13 and Coolio’s Gangsta’s Paradise hit number one (1995)… the Sony PlayStation was released in North America (1995)… Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols appeared on Judge Judy (1998)… the Sega Dreamcast was released (1999)… Band of Brothers premiered on HBO (2001)
Everything old is new again
A look at the reboots, revivals, throwbacks, retro insights, and nostalgia in the news.
A new documentary is in the works about Reading Rainbow. It’s called Butterfly in the Sky. There’s no word on when it will come out or which streaming service will pay crazy sums of money to get the rights to it.
A reboot of the 1991 movie The Rocketeer is coming to Disney+.
Atari’s classic game Centipede is being rebooted this month for video game consoles. It’s called Centipede: Recharged.
The Fresh Prince gritty dramatic reboot on Peacock has cast its lead. He’s a rookie actor named Jabari Banks. No relation to the Banks family, I assume.
Dan Aykroyd has revealed reason there are tubes on the Ghostbusters’ pants is because ghosts are so frightening, Ghostbusters are always peeing their pants.
John C. McGinley, who played one of the Bobs in Office Space, says the movie tanked because of the terrible advertising campaign showing Milton covered head-to-toe in Post-It Notes. “The ad looked like an R-rated Big Bird movie.”
Dennis Rodman’s infamous trip to Vegas in the middle of the 1998 NBA finals is being turned into a movie. The movie will be a scripted buddy comedy.
Rachael Leigh Cook says she regrets turning down the role of Rogue in the X-Men movie in 2000 because she was worried about being taken seriously as an actress.
Two years after Netflix paid $500 million to secure the global rights to Seinfeld, the series will launch there on October 1st.
Throwbacks and recommendations
With the release of He’s All That on Netflix, The A.V. Club did a thoughtful and well-crafted write-up of She's All That and why it was such a surprising success.
Someone made a version of Google Maps for the NES.
From McSweeney’s: What your favorite ‘90s rock band says about the type of bored suburban dad you are today.
Correction: In last week’s edition, I wrote about some friends in college who would instantly go to bed if Ken Griffey Sr. hit a home run in RBI Baseball 2. They wanted me to clarify the “immediately go to sleep” rule only applied if Ken Griffey Sr. hit a grand slam. If he hit a home run, their constitution stated each person playing had to drink two beers but the day was not over. It was important to clear that up.
Thanks for reading!
-Sam